Posted in Spilled Thoughts

LADIES, Who do YOU Really Want?

Your words describe who you want to be and/or what you are willing to do to get what you want.

Your actions describe exactly who you are and/or what other’s expectations of you will be.

Ladies, you are always proclaiming to want a “good” man but the description of him is limited or morphs depending on who you meet and what you are willing to settle for. What is your definition of a “good” man?

MY core definition is: honest, loyal, thoughtful, good listener, ambitious, hygienically sound, easy on the eyes, a “REAL” father if he has children and a creative lover. I will not waive one element listed in MY core definition of a “good” man because each element is vital if we are going to build a lasting and loving relationship.

MY extras are elements I would like a “good” man to possess but they are not critical factors when determining if I should get to know him or let him walk on by: at least 6”3, deep chocolate skin, athletic, loves football, good cook, a great ear for music and mother who lives out of state (LOL…no seriously!). The aforementioned elements are not critical to building a lasting and loving relationship.

Ladies, it’s not enough to want a “good” man YOU must decide once and for all what YOUR definition of a good man actually means encompasses. I’ve heard women state, “He’s a great guy but he’s too nice.” What the hell does that mean? How can you be too nice? Are you really saying, “He’s too soft and almost never stands up for himself.” Or perhaps “He doesn’t look good enough to make the cut?” YOU have a right to YOUR own definition of a good man but figure out what that is and stick to it! Don’t change the description to accommodate some dude you met that doesn’t fit YOUR core definition; the elements most important to YOU. Don’t panic; don’t settle!

I honestly declare there are great men amongst the reptiles; YOU just have to open your eyes and truly understand the difference between YOUR needs (core elements) and wants (extra elements). Open YOUR eyes, decide with YOUR mind and when it’s safe, feel with YOUR heart.


Let love in one day at a time; don’t force it.

When love is right, it will be the most natural feeling; a great feeling.

Love feels like warm rays of sun on an otherwise frigid winter day.

Love is uplifting, loyal, thoughtful, and passionate.

Love will comfort, inspire and nurture you.

Don’t you owe it to your heart to give love a chance?

~SNS~ 2011


SereneNSassySoul is a Whole Healing practice inspiring SELF-love, SELF-compassion and SELF-empowerment. My specialty is assisting Beautiful Spirits with listening to the messages of their Heart, their Soul by releasing energetic stagnation and residue that tends to hold us back from living the very best life intended for us to live.

2 thoughts on “LADIES, Who do YOU Really Want?

  1. Yes, we are out there. I know I possess the elements of that “core” definition, and yet it is so hard to find someone to settle down with. I’m fairly recently single (divorced 2 years) and the world has changed enormously. I think women are becoming more like what men have been accused of, “players”. That doesn’t mean that they’re sleeping with every guy they go out with, but they are always looking for the next better thing, at least here in Atlanta. Attractive women doing internet dating are out every night woith a different guy. How can they focus on just one? And how does that one keep their attention? Its what women have asked themselves about men for many years. Now I’m asking the question about women.


    1. Thank you for taking time to leave your comment. I agree with you… it seems that men and women are not satisfied with settling down with one person. I believe they always think the grass is greener or they should hold out for this perfect being who doesn’t exist. I also believe honesty, thoughtfulness, adoration and intelligence are no longer qualities appreciated by each gender. I’m committed to being authentically me even if it means being single a bit longer than expected but I refuse to settle or morph into a reality show chick LOL. Stay strong and true to yourself, a woman WORTHY of you will walk into your life when you are truly ready. 🙂


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