Posted in Spilled Thoughts

Road to Peace…

IImage‘ve been on a personal journey to obtain peace. You know the kind of peace monks have or statues of Budda seem to exude; I even want to “look” peaceful. When people see me there will be this magical glowing aura to let them know I am at peace. Don’t laugh…if you’ve read anything I’ve written before now you know exactly how vivid my imagination can be! I imagined daily mediation, yoga and connecting with the Universe, Moon, Sun, and Earth would lead to mystical experiences and I would forever be rid of negative experiences and self-defeating thoughts/feelings. I’m patient yet impatient and it’s no secret I’ve always been a perfectionist ergo my road to peace has been less than peaceful! 


I’ve looked everywhere for help: identifying my personality type INFJ, Highly Sensitive and innate Empath; identifying blocked Chakras; holistic methods to conquer anxiety and depression; learning what cycle and zodiac the Moon was in the day I was born (Cancer which explains my personality types) mediation with the Chopra Center, restorative yoga, identifying my passions…you name it, I’ve read/done it all for the sake of obtaining and holding on to peace.


purple and white yin and yang

Don’t get me wrong…some days are absolutely amazing; I flow and share to hopefully pass on peace to others. Other days…I feel like a hypocrite! Demanding that everyone love and accept themselves unconditionally, always feel worthy, block out negativity etc. meanwhile I am experiencing an internal struggle. It’s not enough to know many others who also promote positive thinking/feeling are also experiencing personal struggles; I expect more from ME! During past few days I’ve been ready to throw in the towel but again…I expect more from ME so I will re-group and continue my quest for peace.


People will judge and have their say but until you walk in my shoes…you will never understand that it’s not as simple as “getting over it”! I am Highly Sensitive and yes I feel more than most but I am determined, strong willed and I have never been and will never be a quitter!

Writing has always been therapeutic so I feel stronger as I write these last few lines. I hope you will share your story because it helps to know you are not alone.



Posted in Spilled Thoughts

Another Bit of Me…

I’ve been told that I love too deeply

I’ve been told that I think too much

I’ve been told that I try to help too often

I’ve been told that I am extremely emotional


I do love deeply but only if you are worthy

I do think most of my waking hours because I never want to stop learning

I do try to help often because my spirit is drawn to help those who may benefit

I do feel many emotions…yours and mine because I’m an Empath


I’ve been labeled unreasonably “all or nothing”

I’ve been labeled abnormally introverted

I’ve been labeled ridiculously rigid

I’ve been labeled an absolute pushover


It’s true; I was an all or nothing person but achieving balance has rid my life of that unnecessary behavior

It’s true; I am introverted which is a huge part of my personality

It’s true; I was rigid but achieving balance has made it easier to compromise

I was never a pushover but I did let many people hang themselves with the long rope I gave them


For so long I believed those opinions and labels

For so long I struggled with who I was vs. who I should be

For so long I was unhappy and confused

For so long I wondered why “they” always wished me different


Now I’ve found balance

Now I understand and appreciate who I am and have always been

Now I realize “they” don’t know me at all

Now the only opinion that matters is mine


It took realizing that I’ve been existing instead of living for me to change what needed to be and accepting the parts of me that are authentically who I am. I have finally found peace, balance and the ability to accept and love myself wholly. My wish for you is that you will do the same if you have not done so already.

By the way…I am also labeled an INFJ which I accept completely! 🙂


Smooches, SNS